The Problems of Global Warming

With Christmas over, it has now been confirmed: Santa Claus is looking for other locations due to the whole thin ice problem.

The South Pole is a possibility, but it would cause Christmas to be celebrated on June 25.

Northern Canada or Siberia are the front runners due to the similar climate, but no one is ruling out Iraq with its free market utopian economic model that the Bush Administration has established.

"No corporate taxes and I can import slave labor?" Claus was overheard recently, "Why do you think we were holed up at the North Pole all these years? Bring me some more of that zero government oversight! But, um, just let me know when the shootin' stops."