Almost

Pauly went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with my neighbor."

The priest said, "What do you mean, 'almost'?"

Pauly said, "Well, I'm home all day and so is she, so we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box."

Pauly left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"

Pauly replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"