The Bet

I was having a discussion with a friend a while back when she claimed there are 69 positions. I felt that in fact there are only 68, and bet her 50 pounds, on condition that she prove it. She accepted my bet, and we arranged to set aside the next weekend to settle the matter.

We warmed up in a 69, my favourite number, then got down to serious business. We did it doggy style, we did it several ways in a chair, we did it standing up. We spooned, we did it in full and half lotus, we did the wheelbarrow. We had sex in ways I can't remember, and often we would return to soixante neuf to re-lubricate.

Late Sunday evening we had tried 66 positions, and my friend could not think of any more. She asked me if I could think of any we'd missed, and being a gentleman I replied, "Well, there's head to toe."

She lay on the bed, legs slightly apart, and I got on top, taking a big toe in my mouth to add to her pleasure. Suddenly she remembered the airplane position, and told me to spin slowly like a propeller, maintaining penetration all the while. This eventually brought us into... the missionary position.

Best fifty quid I ever lost.