Mental

A nurse gets a job at a mental institution and decides to make a round and get to know some of the patients.

She opens the first door only to find a man standing there stark naked swinging a baseball bat.

She says, "Who are you?"

The man replies, "I'm Babe Ruth. As soon as I hit a homerun they're gonna let me out of here."

So she wishes him good luck and goes on to the next room.

She goes in and sees a man standing there stark naked swinging a golf club.

"Who are you?" she asks.

He says "I'm Arnold Palmer. As soon as I make a hole in one they're gonna let me out of here."

She says "Good luck" and goes to the next room.

She opens the door and there stands a man, stark naked with a hard-on and a pistachio on the end of his penis.

She says "Who the hell are you?"

The man looks at her and says "Lady, I'm fucking nuts. They're never gonna let me out of here.