Top 5 Signs Your Congressman is About to be Investigated by the Ethics Committee (Novak)

Every time you call his office, the person on the end says, "ExxonMobil, how can we help you?"

His car has more corporate logos than a NASCAR racer

Insists allegations against him are the work of "anti-Christian forces" even though he hasn't been to church in 35 years

His office door has a night depository for lobbyist donations

He's taken so many foreign trips lately he just isn't harassing the interns anymore