Lock 'Em Up!

Three tourist were traveling in South America, an Irishman, a Frenchman and a blonde American. They all found themselves in a bar in a small latin American country, ruled by a strict dictator. As luck would have it, they got into an argument and a bar fight soon started. The local military police arrived and arrested them. At their trial before a tribunal, they learned their luck was even worse. The bar was owned by the brother of the dictator. The three of them were promptly sentenced to five years in solitary confinement.

Before they were taken away to prison, the judge said "you are foreigners to our country. I will grant you each one wish. You may choose one item to help you pass the time. What do you wish for?"

The Irishman asked for a five years supply of fine Irish whiskey. The judge grants him is wish. The Frenchman asked for a five year supply of fine french wine. Again the judge grants his request. He grants the blonde American's request for a five years supply of cigarettes as well. The three were lead off to prison and thrown into individual cells down in the dark, damp basement of the prison.

Five years later they were let out one by one. First the Irishman was released. He staggered out, drunk, barely able to stand, and quickly stumbled out of the prison without saying a word. The Frenchman was released next. He swaggered out, rather drunk himself and walked out into freedom. The blonde American was released last.

He stepped out into freedom and said "Does anyone have a %&$*&@# match??!!"