Unloved?

You Know You're Unloved if...

- when you were born, your Father gave out old cigar butts

- as a baby, your Father threw you in the air and walked away

- you find out your Mother is nursing another baby on the side

- your tub toys included a toaster shaped like a rubber duck

- your folks threw a "going-into-the-Army" party when you were 3

- you run away, and the family can't give the Police a description

- you were always stood-up at the Father-Son banquet at Church

- kidnappers send back your ear and your parents demand more proof

- you play "hide and seek" with Mom and she hides in another town

- your parents take you to an orphanage and tell you to mingle

- you had to share your sandbox with the cat

- you always got your allowance in Traveler's Checks

- you join the marching band in school and they give you a piano

- you take a girl to the Tunnel of Love and she makes you swim

- you were the only candidate for Class President and came in fifth

- the only thing your girl wants out of your relationship is her

- your kids file a paternity suit against you

- the surgeon operating on you says, "I'll take all calls."