Advice To Women From Men

Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'

If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.

Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.

Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your little stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punch line.

The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave, he's just not crying. Big difference.

When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' will do.

What do you mean, 'leering?' She's obstructing my view.

The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. It will be slightly to moderately cooler than you want it.

SportsCenter starts at 11:00 P.M. and runs one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer or talk to your sister.

If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?

Two hot dogs and a beer at a baseball game do, in fact, constitute going out to dinner.

You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.

Silence does not need to be filled.

It's in neither your interest nor ours to take the Cosmo quiz together.

No, you can't have the remote control.