Alcohol Warnings That Might Actually Work

The Toronto board of health has proposed that warning signs be placed on booze bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of pounding a beer or two.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.