Fun Things to do in a Mall

Try pants on backwards at the Grap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"

Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles.

Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable.

Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.

Ask the tobaccanist if his hovercraft is full of eels.

Make unusual requests at the Piercing Pagoda.

Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone.

At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.

In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, "I see London, I see France..."

Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold remedy will "give you a really wicked buzz".