In The News ...

Bill Wails: Bill Clinton has been offered 250-grand to play at a music festival in Italy. There was miscommunication due to language. The former president rejected it when he found out they only said "perform SAX. " (Ray)

The Gloved One: Michael Jackson was spotted in a New York City magic shop over the weekend buying $200 dollars worth of children's magic tricks. Or as we call them, "Exhibit A." (Steve Voldseth)

Wise Guys: "Jodie Foster will be appearing on 'Celebrity Jeopardy.' ... She'll be up against Harry Connick Jr. and Nathan Lane... Robert Downey will appear on 'Celebrities in Jeopardy.'" (Daily Scoop)

More Support: "There's a new bra just introduced called the 'It's All You Bra.' Have you heard about this? . . . They say it takes excess fat from a woman's stomach and pushes it up toward her breast to create more cleavage. . . . Who's going to want to show their cleavage with a belly button in the middle of it?" (Jay Leno)

On the Ball: "The Wilson volleyball that keeps Tom Hanks company in the movie 'Cast Away' got an award from the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn. It was voted best inanimate object. . . . That's twice that Al Gore's been robbed in one year." (Argus Hamilton)

Today is National Meteorologists' Day: The chances of your favorite TV weathercaster receiving a gift are 30 percent. (Richard Burkard/ http://www.LaughLine.com)

Ratherisms: Dan Rather announced Thursday night that CBS News will change its rules for covering Presidential elections. For starters, Rather will be allowed to make comparisons to rodeo cowboys only twice an hour. (Richard Burkard/ http://www.LaughLine.com

But seriously: Rather announced from now on, CBS will NOT make estimates about a state's vote until all polls close in that state. That way, for instance, people in western Kentucky can show up at closing time, mark their ballots - and only find out after they leave that it didn't matter. (Burkard)

Fast Women: It was on this day in 1980 that Mary Decker became the first woman to run the mile in less than 4 minutes-who wasn't dating O.J. at the time. (Voldseth)

World Tour: Madonna and Britney Spears announced plans to do a tour together. They got the "older woman--younger woman" idea from country singers, Naomi and Wynonna . In fact, (that's not the only idea Madonna and Britney got from Naomi and Wynonna)--they're calling themselves The Juggs. (Voldseth)

Shutting Down: AMC, the movie theater company, says it will close more than 500 screens over the next two years. They're doing it in phases. The first one closes at 1:15, the second at 2:20, followed by another at 3:45. (Voldseth)

Bryant 50: Bryant Gumbel's estranged wife says the TV anchor has had 50 affairs. It'll be tough producing this evidence for the divorce trial. Lawyers can't find that many people who even like him. (Ray)

Investment In Future: The Rev. Jesse Jackson and AOL Time Warner executives launched a program Wednesday intended to boost opportunities for minority business owners by bringing them face-to-face with investors. * The Rev. Jackson is well-known for his familiarity work on Puts and {Booty} calls. I know this much - * he's * not been investing much with Fidelity lately. (Jim Rosenberg)