Semi-comic comments and questions about contemporary life

Why is it when you're hungry for a doughnut, it's always a left turn across heavy traffic?

Remember back when we only had two sexes?

An absent-minded friend of mine said he was going to run for political office so he could find out some of the things he did 20 years ago.

I was on an elevator and three guys dressed like the Three Musketeers got on. I asked them what floor and they said, "One for all and all for one."

My neighborhood was so tough that the school newspaper had an obituary column.

Seen the fall TV schedule? I think the American Library Association has secretly conspired to make TV so bad that people will start reading books.

My doctor says I need to take exercise. Does anybody know an exercise that doesn't require a lot of movement?

I kiss my money goodbye so often that my credit cards are getting jealous.