Outback
Fellow spends several months alone in the "Outback" of Australia, desperately needs a drink. Packs up his belongings, picks up his pet alligator and dumps them in the back of his pickup truck. Drives a hundred miles to the nearest watering hole, and while dusting himself off sees two blokes storming out the front door beating the hell out of each other. "Ay it's a tough one eh? He goes back to the truck picks up his pet alligator and marchs into the joint, going up to the bar and slamming the alligator down on it.
"To save a lot of fighting, I'm going to show you tough".
He slams the alligator on the head with his fist and the jaws slowly open; he whips out his prick sticks it in the alligators mouth and slams the alligators head with his fist again. The jaws close quickly but stop just short of his vital and he leaves it there for a minute, with the bar crowd in utter silence. He slams the head of the alligator with his fist again and the jaws slowly open.
He pulls out his prick, zips up his fly and asks the crowd, "Okay blokes anyone here tough enough for that?"
Utter silence until a voice from the back queries, "Yeah, if you don't hit me on the head".