Car Names Explained

AUDI:

Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

Another Uninformed Driver Insulted

All Unnecessary Devices Installed

BMW:

Big Money Works

Bought My Wife

Brutal Money Waster

Bimbette Motor Weapon

Break My Window

Big Man Wannabe

Big Money Wasted

Broken Money Waster

BUICK:

Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

Big Ugly Import Car Killer

CADILLAC:

Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars

CHEVROLET:

Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips

Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips

CHRYSLER:

Can't Have Refund, You're Stuck Leasing Edsel's Replacement

DODGE:

Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FIAT:

Failure in Italian Automotive Technology

Fix It All the Time

Fix it again, Tony!

Fix it again tomorrow

Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation

FORD:

Frigin Old Rebuilt Dodge

First On Recall Day

First On Rust and Deterioration

Fix Or Repair Daily

Found On Road, Dead

Fault Of Research and Development

Fast Only Rolling Downhill

Features O.J. and Ron's DNA

Found On Russian Dump

Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's

Ford backwards: Drivers returning on foot.

GEO:

Good Engineering Overlooked

GM:

General Maintenance

Great Mistake

Garage Me

GMC:

Garage Man's Companion

Got A Mechanic Coming?

Generally Mediocre Cars

Got More Crap

HONDA:

Had One Never Did Again

HYUNDAI:

Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...

JEEP:

Junk Engineered, Executed Poorly

KIA:

Kick It Again

LINCOLN:

Lousy Implementation, Not Cars Of Luxurious Nature

MAZDA:

Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

Made After Zero Design Analysis

MERCEDES:

Many Expensive Repairs Can Eventually Discourage Extra Sales

MOPAR:

Most Often Passed At Races

Mostly Old Parts And Rust

Mostly Old Paint And Rust

OLDSMOBILE:

Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everywhere

Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

Old Ladies Drive Slow-Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie

PLYMOUTH:

Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, All Underestimating This Heap

PONTIAC:

Poor Old Nick Thinks It's A Cadillac

PORSCHE:

Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything

SAAB:

Send Another Automobile Back

Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.

Sad Attempt At Beauty

SATURN:

Sad Attempt To Unload Recycled Nissans

STEALTH:

Speed Trap Equipment Aims Low, Targets Hood

SUBARU:

Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually

TOYOTA:

Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

TRIUMPH:

The Risk In Useless Machinery Pays Heavily

VOLVO:

Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW:

Virtually Worthless

YUGO:

Yearly undergoes garage operations

You'll utter "greatly overpriced"