You Can't Handle The Truth!

Bastard: "You want answers?"

Boss: "I think I'm entitled to them!"

Bastard: "YOU WANT ANSWERS?"

Boss: "I want the truth!"

Bastard: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Son, processes live on a system that has finite resource. Resources guarded by people with System Admin experience! Who's going to look after that system? You? The support guy who drools so much he has a drip tray?

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for lost sessions and curse system admins -- you have that luxury! You have the luxury of not knowing what I know - that session killing, while tragic, saves resource -- And my existence, while incomprehensible and expensive to you -- saves resources!"

You don't want the truth because deep down, in places you don't like to talk about at user group meetings, you WANT me on the system -- you NEED me on the system!"

We use words like "I/O wait", "Pagefaults", and "CPUtime", as a backbone of a life spent sorting out user-caused problems. You use them as a cop-out for downtime at Management meetings.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a person who connects and disconnects under the very blanket of the very performance I provide, then QUESTIONS the manner in which I provide it. I'd rather you left a nice message with helldesk. Or read a linux admin manual and checked out the performance monitors.

Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think you are entitled to!"

Boss: "Did you kill -9 the Database Server?"

Bastard: "I did my job -- I kept the system running!"

Boss: "Did you kill -9 the Database Server?!"

Bastard: "YOU'RE GODDAM RIGHT I DID!"