In The News...

Bush Tops: George Bush is on the campaign trail. He likes to boast of his primary accomplishment as Texas governor. He has eliminated prison overcrowding. (Alan Ray)

Bunny Boy: Chicago has named a street after Playboy founder Hugh Hefner. Actually, I think the city is taking this Playboy street thing a little too far. Yesterday, they tried to airbrush out the potholes. (Bill Williams/ acmehumor@aol.com)

Play Problem: Four New Jersey kindergartners were suspended for playing cops and robbers. The bad guys threatened others with fear and violence. And the kids who played robbers were just as nasty. (Ray)

Here's a TV note you may have missed: the syndicated talk show "Forgive or Forget" has been canceled. Apparently viewers chose to do the latter! (Richard Burkard/ www.LaughLine.com)

Double U: George W. Bush announced a plan that he said would create affordable housing for the poor, an important cause to Bush, since he's already spent $65 million dollars to move into government housing. (Guy Nicolucci)

School Daze: Vice President Al Gore visited Avondale Elementary School in Columbus, Ohio this week as part of his pledge to spend a day at a school every week or two during his presidential campaign. He got the idea from George W. Bush, who spent a day at school every week or two when he was in college. (Guy Nicolucci)

Today's deep question: Do Christian baseball players try NOT to steal bases? If they do, do they feel guilty about it? Do they go home and repent? (Richard Burkard/ www.LaughLine.com)

Grin and Bare It: "Bad news for New Yorkers and out-of- towners alike. The Supreme Court says New York City can ban nude dancing. So, if you're looking for nudity in New York, your best bet is still...the subway." (David Letterman)

Double UU: Leftist rebels in Columbia have kidnapped 23 drivers, snarled traffic, set cars on fire and blown up a bridge - all because they want to be included in the upcoming peace talks....Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for peace talks. But what they did makes about as much sense as a certain Texas governor with over 300 executions under his belt claiming to be pro-life. (Williams)