In The News ...

Man of Century: Time magazine just might name Adolph Hitler as their Man of the Century ... So I guess that would make Pat Buchanan "Butt Kisser of the Century." (Bill Williams)

Survey Says: Media experts say the phenomenal growth of the Web won't hurt TV, and in the long run will even help it ... I hear it won't be too long before we couch potatoes can move our mouse just a little and delete "Suddenly Susan" and "Veronica's Closet" in a single click. (Williams)

More Millionaires???: Fox Network is developing a show that has 50 women competing to marry a rich man called "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?" It was easy to cast. They just hired all of Larry King's ex-wives. (Williams)

Book Signing???: John and Patsy Ramsey are writing a book. And I thought this was interesting. They're going to promote it a little differently. Patsy Ramsey will still travel to bookstores around the country, but here, she'll deny that she wrote it and then refuse whenever anyone asks her for a handwriting sample of her signature. (Steve Voldseth)

Police Beat: Actor Jean-Claude Van Damme was stopped on suspicion of drunken driving. "Van Damme was driving around? Oh, that's right -- it's his career that's been going nowhere." (Daily Scoop)

First, Let's Kill All...: Firearm maker Colt's Manufacturing Company Inc. intends to stop producing consumer handguns in order to avoid lawsuits stemming from handgun-related violence. Guns don't kill profits. Lawyers kill profits. (Jim Rosenberg)

Watch This: NBC is revamping its schedule. "There will now be 21 hours of 'Dateline.'" (Daily Scoop)

Divorcing for Dollars: A study found that a lasting marriage can bring as much extra happiness as $100,000. "Of course, a failed marriage can bring a lot more. Just ask Ivana and Marla." (Daily Scoop)

Custody Fight: "A Las Vegas courtroom was the setting as a couple, engaged in a bitter divorce, divided their $5,000 Beanie Baby collection. Luckily, Nevada is one of the seven community Beanie Baby states." (Bob Mills)

Kris Kristofferson has signed up to play a detective in an upcoming CBS miniseries about the JonBenet Ramsey case. Ramsey's murder and Kristofferson's career are both unexplained mysteries which have not yet been solved. (Jim Rosenberg)

In a long-pending landmark decision, America's Roman Catholic bishops agreed overwhelmingly Wednesday to impose tighter controls over the nation's 235 church-related colleges and universities. The first step will be to get rid of Bob Davies and find a coach who can install an aggressive passing game at Notre Dame. (Rosenberg)

Newt Nonsense: The divorce trial of Newt Gingrich begins. His estranged wife is prepared to testify that he lied and cheated for most of their marriage. And when he wasn't working as House Speaker, he had affairs. (Alan Ray)