It's Lonely Out There

After eight weeks away on business in a strange city, the married exec entered a local brothel, produced three 100-dollar bills and said, "I want the worst screw in the house."

The madam answered, "But sir, for that price you can have one of our better girls."

"Nope. I want the worse piece of ass around," he maintained.

"Sir, I cannot let you do this. I mean we have our reputation to maintain, too," the distraught madam said.

"Listen, Toots," the man continued, "I'm not horny ... just homesick."