Retelling the Classics: Art Appreciation

A young couple are at a New York art gallery opening, standing together and looking up quizzically at a large portrait, painted by an unknown Irish artist, that obviously has them a little taken aback. The painting depicts three naked black men sitting together on a short wooden bench in front of a stone wall. Two of the men have large black penises and the one in the middle has an even larger penis, but his penis is quite pink -- in stark contrast to the rest of his muscular, ebony body.

As the couple is standing there, looking puzzled, a man walks up and says, "Hello... I'm the artist. Did you have a question?"

The man says, "Well, yes, we do ... we rather like the open sexuality of the painting but frankly we don't understand the meaning beyond that.

"Yes," says his wife, "clearly they're all well-endowed African men, but why you've chosen to paint them sitting together on a bench is quite the mystery, and we really don't understand the symbolism of the one in the middle having a huge pink penis."

The Irishman smiles and says, "Oh! I see your problem now. Well, you've misinterpreted me work as bein' a bit more symbolic than it really is, so let me explain. Firstly, they're none of them Africans, these lads ... actually, they're me own friends, fine Irish coal miners all three. That's Seamus on your left, there's Arthur in t'middle and Kelly on your right. In t'second place, the painting was made while they were takin' an afternoon break on a swelterin' day in the mines, and after Art had nipped back home for his lunch."