Barbender

A very inebriated lady walks into a bar, shortly before closing time, sits at the bar and orders: "Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy."

The bartender brings her a martini, which she drinks in one gulp.

"Barberder, I would like another Martoutsy." Again the bartender brings her a martini.

By this time the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on. She calls, "Barbender, your Martoutsys are giving me heartburn."

Patiently, the bartender comes near her and says: "Lady, I am not a barbender, but a bartender, and what you have been drinking is not a Martoutsy, but a martini, and finally, you do not have heartburn, your tit is hanging in the ashtray."