In The News ...

Look, Up in the Air: On an Air New Zealand flight, a passenger felt something crawling up her leg and discovered it was a rat. "Apparently, whenever this happens on Air Force One, people hope it's a rat." (Conan O'Brien)

Rock Generation: It was 29 years ago today in 1970, that Vice President Spiro Agnew said, quote, "The youth of America are being brainwashed into a drug culture of rock music, movies, books and tabloid newspapers." Or as they're called today, George W. Bush supporters. (Steve Voldseth)

Love on the Rocks: Romance novelist Danielle Steele has separated from her fifth husband. "As she took her final few steps down the shaded walk of their palatial country estate, she felt the relentless pounding of a battered and aching heart scarred with memories of unbridled passion -- memories that now must last a lifetime. She slipped into the Jaguar. It was a new day." (Bob Mills)

R.I.P.: In Austria, a 59-year-old woman lived two years with her dead mother wrapped up in a carpet because she could not face parting with her. This is what's known in the carpet business as a "remnant." (Jim Rosenberg)

Kato Suit: Kato Kaelin is suing the National Examiner for libel. A story linking him to Nicole Simpson's murder has caused him emotional distress. He now has trouble sleeping during the day. (Alan Ray)

Snip Here -- Snip There: Cindy Crawford says she couldn't watch her baby son's bris. Little Presley Gerber is now three months old. Cindy's husband assured her everything would be fine. He promised the supermodel he'd find a supermohel. Still, Cindy wondered why they couldn't just air-brush it out? (Tom Hughes - WCNN Atlanta)

How Lovely: On ABC's "20/20" this week, they showed a new kind of breast implant that allows you to increase or decrease its size with a handheld device. And I understand it has three settings: Kate Moss, Pamela Lee and Marlon Brando. (Voldseth)

Remember The Surrealists: Fort Worth schools canceled trips to an art museum after parents complained about the nudity in the paintings. So instead, the schools went to the Alamo -- Better to show the kids bullets than boobs. (Bill Williams)

Escrow We've Got a Problem: The "Heavens Gate" mansion, where 39 people committed suicide in order to "travel into space," has finally been sold for $668,000. Launch pad not included. (Williams)

R.I.P.: Judith Campbell Exner, a reputed mistress of John F. Kennedy, has died. The family asks that memorial donations be made to The Museum of Presidential Mistresses for the anticipated need to quadruple in size to account for President Clinton's activities. (Rosenberg)

Stand By Your Woman: In an angry press conference on Capitol Hill, Frank Gifford defended his wife, Kathie Lee Gifford, against labor activists who said her clothing line is still produced in foreign sweatshops. After the outburst, Kathie Lee's co-host Regis Philbin paused and asked ominously, "Is that your final answer?" (Rosenberg)