Quips & Quotes

Technology is simply a means of manipulating the world so you don't have to experience it.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Stupidity got us into this mess -- why can't it get us out?

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this is true.

There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I am an escapee of a political correction facility.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to it.

Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

I believe in youthenasia.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

I am having an out-of-money experience.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Not afraid of heights -- afraid of widths.

Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.