You know you are Canadian when...

You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

The mosquitoes have landing lights.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.

Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only eight buttons.

You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on two pages, but requires six pages for hockey.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat-processing plant.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.

You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.

You head south to go to your cottage.

You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo -- it's sausage making.

You find -40C a little chilly.

The trunk of your car doubles as a deep-freeze.

You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.

You can play road hockey on skates.

You know four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter and Construction.

The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.

You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends.