Dirty Dancing

There is a Reform Jewish young man about to marry a girl from a Hasidic family. So he has a meeting with the Hasidic rabbi to prepare for the wedding and to learn the strict rules of that sect.

"What will happen at the wedding?" he asks the rabbi.

"Well," says the rabbi, "we will gather in the synagogue in the usual way."

"How is that?" asked the young man.

"Well, the men will be on one side, and the women will be on the other, behind a screen," says the rabbi.

The young man is not used to this. "Then what happens?" he asks.

"Well, we will have the usual service." And the rabbi describes many of the complicated components of a Hasidic wedding ceremony: the Kinyan Sudder, the Bedrecken, the Procession, the Circling of the bridegroom, the Huppah, the Birkot Erushin, the ring, the Ketubah, the Seven Blessings, the Pronouncement, the Glass, the Recessional...

The young man feels a little confused. But he asks, "Then what happens?"

"Oh, we all go to the social hall for the party."

"What happens there?"

"Well, the men sit on one side, and the women sit on the other. Then we eat."

"And then...?"

"We have dancing."

"Dancing?"

"Yes, the men dance with men, and the women dance with women."

"May I dance with my new wife?"

"Oh no, men and women do not dance together."

"After the party -- then may I go home with my wife?"

"Yes."

"May we sleep in the same room?"

"Yes."

"May we sleep in the same bed?"

"Yes."

"May I lie on top of her?"

"Yes."

"May we do it so that she lies on top of me?"

"Yes."

"May we do it standing up?"

"Absolutely not! That would be like dancing!"