Signs That You're Over the Hill

You're sitting on a park bench, and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

You keep repeating yourself.

You light the candles on your birthday cake, and a group of campers form a circle and start singing "Kumbaya."

Someone compliments you on your layered look.... and you're wearing a bikini.

You start videotaping daytime game shows.

You wonder why you waited so long to take up macrame.

Your insurance company has started sending you their free calendar ... a month at a time.

You keep repeating yourself.

At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.

Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."

It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.

You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.

You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.

You begin every other sentence with "Nowadays ..."

You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.

You look both ways before crossing a room.

You keep repeating yourself.

You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.

You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.

You realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.

Your childhood toys are now in a museum.

Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.

The clothes you've put away until they come back in style ... come back in style.

All of your favorite movies are now re-released in color.

The car that you bought brand-new becomes an antique.

You keep repeating yourself.

You find this list tasteless and insensitive.