Ways to Prepare for the Millennium Bug

Sell stock in Microsoft and AOL. Invest everything in shotguns and bottled water.

Move computer's clock ahead now to test for co^^^NO CARRIER

Start writing an exquisitely obscene job-resignation letter.

Stockpile semen to repopulate Earth in case post-apocalypse chicks still won't have sex with you.

Open checking accounts in dozens of different banks with no more than $20 in each, and wait for a windfall.

Convert to Judaism, then begin worrying about the Y10K bug.

Party like it's 1899.

Discard toasters made before 1995 because nobody likes bread toasted for two minutes and 100 years.

Send Schwarzenegger back in time to bitch-slap those lazy COBOL engineers.