The Official Un-Chain Letter

DO NOT FORWARD THIS! DON'T EVEN THINK OF IT!

Forwarding this will cause immense amounts of bad luck. Do not forward this to your friends, or enemies.

If you send this to one of your friends you will end up blowing lint balls out of your nose.

If you send it to two or three of your friends, they will be affected by the above and any and all of your pets will lose effective bladder control.

If you send it to four to eight of your friends, they will be affected by the above and you will be the sole cause of mass starvation in a small Mediterranean country.

If you send this to nine to 15 of your friends, they will be affected by all of the above and you will be drafted to serve in a peace-keeping force in the Mediterranean area.

If you send this to 16-25 of your friends, they will be affected by all of the above and you will be captured, tortured and brainwashed by a small radical band of anarchists who have control of a twenty megaton hydrogen bomb with surface to surface capabilities.

If you send this to more than 25 of your friends, they will be affected by all of the above and you personally will trigger the hydrogen device.

...and we know where that leads, don't we?

HOWEVER ...

If you only THINK of sending it to one of your friends. your boogers will be normal.

If you only THINK of sending it to two or three of your friends, they will be affected by the above, and your pets will only piss you off.

If you only THINK of sending it to four to eight of your friends, they will be affected by all of the above and the olive harvest will be a bumper crop this year.

If you only THINK of sending it to nine to 15 of your friends, they will be affected by all of the above (cheap martinis) and you will qualify for a brainless cush job at twice the salary.

If you only THINK of sending it to 16-25 of your friends, they will be affected by all of the above and you will become involved in a pretentious race of keeping up with your friend's purchases of materialistic items.

If you only THINK of sending it to more than 25 of your friends, they will affected by all of the above, and your friends will personally hold you responsible for their sleazy materialistic attitudes and jointly hire a hit man to pull the trigger.

SO REALLY! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FORWARDING THIS!