Facts of Marriage

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received 100 letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."