In The News ...

On the Campaign Trail: At a Democratic fund-raiser, if you donate $100,000, you can spend a weekend at the Kennedy compound. "Which is kind of ironic. Usually that is the amount of the settlement the Kennedys wind up paying out to women who spend the weekend at the compound." (Leno)

On the Campaign Trail II: "If you throw in an extra $10,000, Ted Kennedy will promise to wear pants." (Conan O'Brien)

New Roomies: Dr. Jack Kevorkian was given a sentence of 12-25 years in prison for his part in helping a man die. Kevorkian was denied bail and taken directly to jail, where his three cell mates were immediately put on a suicide watch. (Steve Voldseth)

In A Pickle: The Vlasic pickle company held a press conference to announce the development of a new pickle that they say is 10 times larger than a regular pickle. Afterwards, a spokesman for the company said, "OK, I exaggerated. It's only eight times larger." (Voldseth)

A Degree to Go: The man who started Domino's Pizza is spending $50 million to establish a new law school. "Each instructor delivers the lesson in 30 minutes or less, or your tuition is free." (Jerry Perisho)

We Couldn't Resist: Scientists say they're trying to clone Rhesus monkeys in an effort to provide a genetically identical supply of animals for research. "The clones would be reproduced from tiny bits of the existing monkeys' DNA, also known as Rhesus pieces." (Ira Lawson)

Cross Promotion: According to a survey, reported in the London Mirror, 25 percent of women say they prefer gardening over sex. Which, to me, is the perfect opportunity for cross-marketing by the Viagra people. Instead of Bob Dole, they should feature James Whitmore, the Miracle-Gro guy in their commercials -- (theyâd) kill two birds with one stone! (Steve Voldseth)

On the Campaign Trail: Dan Quayle officially announced he's running for president. "He's got four votes already: Jay Leno, David Letterman, Bill Maher and Dennis Miller." (Daily Scoop)

New Soap: "Disney and ABC are going to launch a 24-hour soap opera cable channel. It'll be called the Get A Lifetime Network." (Zack Taylor)

Believe Them Or Not: "Ripley's wants to display Pamela Anderson Lee's former implants at its Hollywood museum. They'll go right next to Keith Richard's blood." (Taylor)

Believe Them Or Not II: Ripley's Believe It or Not! wants to acquire Pamela Lee's breast implants, which were recently removed, to display at its Hollywood museum. The Smithsonian's Air and Space Museum already has dibs on her head. (Jim Rosenberg)