In The News ...

Digital Age: There's a new technology that allows advertisers to have their products digitally added to network television shows. Next, engineers will experiment with adding character, content and wit. (Chris Bannon)

Ackroyd-ish: In Manatea County, Fla., it is now illegal for women to expose more than 75 percent of their breasts in public. Is that fair? I mean, why is it a woman exposes 75 percent of her breasts on the beach, she gets arrested and threatened with a fine and imprisonment. But the cable guy comes to your house, bends over your TV and exposes 100 percent of his ass, nobody cares!? (Steve Voldseth)

On the Campaign Trail: Lamar Alexander is running for president. "You know, nice man. Doesn't have the best campaign slogan, though. 'Lamar, the other white guy.'" (Jay Leno)

On the Outs: Actor Tom Arnold and his wife are divorcing after 3 1/2 years of marriage. "Gee, I didn't see that coming." (Chris Pina)

Will Work For Sunscreen: Hawaii's Governor Cayetano wants "Baywatch" to reconsider its planned move to Austrailia, citing a statewide shortage of bikini-clad model/actresses. (Bannon)

Higher Education: The University of Georgia has instituted a program that encourages students to turn in other students they see cheating. The university will now be the first in the nation to offer a Bachelor of Fine Squealer degree. They are even thinking of renaming the college and calling it Linda Tripp U. (Bill Williams)

Doggie Do Do: A Canadian company has announced plans to open a summer day camp for dogs. I've been sending my dog to a summer day camp for years. It's called my neighbor's front lawn. (Voldseth)

Car Show: A company in Vienna, Austria, is offering a brothel-in-a- limousine service. For $250 an hour, you get a chauffeur, all the alcohol you can drink, and a woman who will do anything you want. We've had that in this country for years, haven't we? I think it's called prom night. (Voldseth)