In The News...

"Star" Struck: According to Variety, two-thirds of the audience at a screening of "The Siege" walked out after seeing the trailer for the new "Star Wars" film. "Ushers said they hadn't seen anything like that since 'The Avengers' came out." (Andrew Wisot)

Expanding: The Banana Republic chain is going to open stores catering to large-sized people. "I hear they're calling it 'Banana Split Republic.'" (Jay Leno)

Contracting: Newt Gingrich reportedly has told friends he just wants to go someplace where no one will bother him and he can be alone. "So I think he's going to be hosting 'Good Morning America.'" (Leno)

A Big Heist: A department store in Minnesota is trying to catch a woman who has stolen more than $1,000 worth of 44-D bras. "Police are looking for the woman, as is every other guy in town." (O'Brien)

How the Rest Rest: According to a new survey, 33 percent of people sleep on their right side, 26 percent sleep on their left side. "The remainder don't know because, well, they are sleeping at the time." (Premiere)

Le Cirque d' O.J.: Attorney Vincent Bugliosi is making a 12-hour TV miniseries that he says proves O.J. is guilty of double murder. Of course, the big problem, finding an audience that hasn't already heard everything there is to know about the case -- I mean, besides, the 12 original jurors." (Steve Voldseth)

Speaking of Medical Miracles: Researchers in Chicago have made significant steps toward curing baldness by growing new follicles in mice. "The scientists plan to open a new hair transplant clinic for men. It'll be called 'Of Mice for Men.'" (Joshua Sostrin)

Medical Miracle III: According to a new study, Vitamin E can help cure memory loss. "Or was it Vitamin D?" (Rudolph C. Cecera)

Starr Power: Ken Starr's office could be open another two years. "It's no surprise, especially with Starr now investigating why Chelsea broke up with her boyfriend." (Premiere Radio)

Speaking of Happy Families: Woody Allen turned 63 this week. "I understand he is spending a quiet evening at home with his wife and/or daughter." (Steve Voldseth)

Higher Calling: "Tom Hanks says he might consider running for president some day. ...Poor Tom. He's doesn't know that life in the White House is like a box of chocolates. You never know when you're going to run into a nut." (Bill Williams)

Tricky Dick: "Lawyers for Richard Nixon's estate are suing the U.S. (us!) for $210 million to compensate for documents the government kept when he resigned in 1974. ...Let's see, he said "I am not a crook." Nope. He definitely didn't make any promises about his family." (Williams)