An annotated thermometer

50 - Miami residents turn on the heat

40 - COLLEGE STUDENTS STILL WEAR SHORTS Californians shiver uncontrollably Wisconsinites go swimming

35 - Italian cars don't start

32 - Water freezes

30 - You can see your breath You plan your vacation to Australia Wisconsinites put on T-shirts Politicians begin to worry about the homeless

25 - Boston water freezes Californians weep pitiably Wisconsinites eat ice cream Canadians go swimming Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you

20 - You can hear your breath Politicians begin to talk about the homeless New York City water freezes Miami residents plan vacation further South

15 - You plan a vacation in Mexico Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

10 - Too cold to snow You need jumper cables to get the car going

5 - You plan your vacation in Houston

0 - American cars don't start Alaskans put on T-shirts Too cold to skate

-5 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo Wisconsinites stick their tongues on metal objects Miami residents cease to exist

-10 - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you Politicians actually do something about the homeless Wisconsinites shovel snow off roof

-15 - Too cold to think You need jumper cables to get the driver going Only ice chunks hit the bottom of the outhouse

-20 - You plan a two-week hot bath The Mighty Monongahela freezes Japanese cars don't start

-25 - Californians disappear Wisconsinites button top button Canadians put on sweaters Your car helps you plan your trip South

-30 - Congressional hot air freezes

-50 - Hell freezes over Polar bears move south

-65 - All major universities are still open and requiring students to attend class. Remember the good old elementary school days??