Ask Bob

Dear Bob,

How come you don't own a cat?

I'm glad you asked. We don't have a cat because we don't need a cat. We have a broken-down boat that serves as a shelter for cats in transition, kinda like the Salvation Army, only we don't require them to give up drinking or smoking in order to stay. Our dog believes that we do in fact need a cat, perhaps several cats, aince his plan is to kill them. Personally, I gotta go with him on this one, but for some reason, my wife doesn't agree. What a killjoy.