Signs That You've Chosen The Wrong Psychiatrist

He begins the word association test with the term "fellatio."

You see a price tag on his diploma.

After awakening from hypnosis, you discover your bra is missing.

He takes notes with a crayon.

He frequently masturbates while you're talking.

He's always wearing that rubber nose and glasses get-up.

He pulls out a vibrator and informs you that shock treatment has come a long way.

You tell him that you're suicidal and he offers to write the note for an additional charge.

He insists that knowing the color of your panties would further the diagnosis.

That annoying habit of blowing spit-bubbles.