In The News...

Against All Odds: A CNN poll has George W. Bush leading all GOP presidential candidates for 2000. "The guy is charming, he's articulate, he genuinely likes people, and he's monogamous. And for most Americans, three out of four isn't bad." (Hamilton)

Spinoffs: Linda Blair, who scared the pants off a generation of moviegoers with her role in "The Exorcist," told a Los Angeles radio station that she's got a sitcom in development. "Apparently, she turned in a pilot script that had the producers' heads spinning." (Ira Lawson)

Role Call: Morgan Freeman will play the role of an older Nelson Mandela in an upcoming movie. "Seeking someone with experience to portray his year in jail, the younger Mandela will be played by Robert Downey Jr." (Jerry Perisho)

Woody Woes: "In a recent interview, Woody Allen said Mia Farrow is an unfit mother to her adopted children. Woody went on to say, 'As far as I know, she's not interested in dating any of them.'" (Conan O'Brien)

Turn Around Monica: "One of the expenses buried in the report detailing the $40 plus million Ken Starr spent investigating the presidential sex scandal was a $127.42 restaurant tab for a lunch that Linda Tripp had with Monica Lewinsky. Actually, only $120 was for food. The other $7.42 was for the knife Monica walked out with stuck in her back." (Steve Voldseth)

Friendly Skies: "The FAA is recommending that pilots don't take Viagra within six hours of flying. In a related story, airlines will also be forced to provide stewardesses with Gifford-free zones." (Zack Taylor)

At McDisney's: "McDonald's will be opening up in Disneyland. But since it will be charging Disney prices, the sign on the golden arches will read 'Over 23 billion fleeced.'" (Gary Easley)

Truth Will Out: Scientists announced a new drug that helps restore memory. "The Republicans love this new pill. It's strong enough so that President Clinton can remember being alone with Monica, but weak enough so that George Bush can't remember if he was in the loop on Iran-Contra." (Argus Hamilton)

Big Spenders: The GOP launched a $10-million advertising blitz attacking President Clinton and the scandal. "They're spending $10 million to attack a guy who's not even running, and they want to convince us they'll be frugal with our money?" (Premiere Radio)

Seeing Fit: Monica Lewinsky was spotted checking into the L.A. Fitness Center with a personal trainer. "She's ballooned up to 170 pounds. Weight gain is generally the first thing that happens when you give up cigars." (Hamilton)

A Penny Saved: Congress and President Clinton agreed on a budget that still left the U.S. with $50 billion in the bank. "It's simply a matter of pride. We don't want anyone to think that we're suing Bill Gates for the money." (Hamilton)

Something Different: A new drug can help people with a shyness disorder. "It'll replace an older drug, called booze." (Premiere Radio)

Child's Play: According to a study by the union representing writers, young writers are the most likely to get the top film and television assignments. "That's true -- producers wouldn't even look at my script until I redid it in crayon." (Alex Kaseberg)