Confession

Father O'Leary is doing confession one Sunday when he realizes he has to pee.

He peeks his head out of the confessional and sees a group of altar boys sitting in the pews. He calls out for one and asks the little boy to take his place while he goes to the bathroom. "Whenever they enter, allow them to confess, and using this list, give them the appropriate repentance. There's a list posted on his side of the confessional. "For theft, six hail Marys. For murder, 12 hail Marys and an hour of silent prayer, and so on. Ya got it?" The boy nods and proceeds to wait.

Along comes a lady who enters the confessional and begins "Father, it's been two weeks since my last confession." The boy, in a low, manly voice responds, "Yes, go on my child." She continues to tell him that she gave a blow job to a man who was not her husband. The boy scans the list saying to himself "Blow job, blow job, where's the friggin' blowjob?" Well, there's no listing for blowjob, so he looks out and asks Tony, another altar boy, "Hey Tony, what does Father O'Leary give for a blowjob?" Tony goes, "A handful of Gummi Bears and a Snickers bar."