In The News...

Where's My Agent?: In a development that may chill "real life" TV shows like "Cops," a federal judge ruled the presence of TV camera crews accompanying DEA agents violates the alleged perpetrators' rights. "From now on, when authorities read them their rights, they'll have to say, 'You have the right to get an agent; you have the right to syndication money.'" (Johnny Robish)

Big Spenders: Forbes named Jerry Seinfeld the top moneymaker in show business last year with $227 million. "It had a dramatic effect. Bill Gates was last seen standing in line for Open Mike Night at the Comedy Store." (Argus Hamilton)

Talking Heads: A study found that violent crimes shown on television news broadcasts can increase children's fear. "Children in this study also expressed great fear when watching TV news anchors ad-libbing between stories." (David Christensen)

A Smoky Survey: Health experts at UC Berkeley say smoking costs the US $73 billion each year. "Of course, you must remember that what they smoke in Berkeley is usually more expensive because it's imported from Panama or Colombia." (Jerry Perisho)

Urban Legends: Tim Forneris, the St. Louis groundskeeper who picked up Mark McGwire's 62nd home run ball, met President Clinton at Disney World and traveled to New York City to appear with David Letterman. "He'll also be included in the Kato Kaelin Lucky Bystander's Hall of Fame." (Zack Taylor)

Albert's Secret: Sportscaster Marv Albert got married recently. "It was probably the first time that both the groom and bride were registered at Victoria's Secret." (Alex Kaseberg)

The Great Unknown: Rosie O'Donnell says that instead of all the usual celebrity guests, she's going to book people "no one ever sees." "In fact, did you see who she's invited for her first show? The cast of the movie 'The Avengers.'" (Steve Voldseth)

Kodak Moments: Bill Gates has acquired the rights to more than 25 million photos and images. "Things are really getting out of hand. Today, I got my vacation pictures back and discovered that Gates already owned the rights to them." (Paul Steinberg)

Tabloid Bombs: Arnold Schwarzenegger is suing the Globe tabloid for saying that his heart is a ticking time bomb. "They got it wrong. Based on the low grosses of his last film and his age, his career is a ticking time bomb." (Hamilton)