Observations & Questions

Watch out Sadaam Husein, the U.S. government has petitioned the post office to take you out.

To all those tree huggers, try wiping with plastic toilet paper!

The doctor told my wife that if I could get a home-cooked meal and sex once a week I would get well. She told me I was gonna die.

When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I really had the urge to get in a good fight, so I signed my whole family up to be on the Jerry Springer Show.

Ever wonder what would happen if the people you lie to on the Internet found out who you really are?

There's a saying in Washington that if you're not completely confused, then you're totally uninformed.

When it snows, do the home-school kids get the day off?

Roses are red, Violet is blue. That's because Violet is a nudist in Alaska.

I always try to count my blessings, but I am no good at fractions.