Dedicated to Women

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. Men will screw anything.

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?

A: He eats beans for dinner.

Q: What is a man's idea of foreplay?

A: A half hour of begging.

Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?

A: He's breathing.

Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?

A: Bonds mature.

Q: How do you save a man from drowning?

A: Take your foot off his head.

Q: What do men and beer bottles have in common?

A: They are both empty from the neck up.

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

A: Who knows? It's never happened.

Q: How are men and parking spots alike?

A: The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

Q: What is a man's idea of helping with housework?

A: Lifting a leg while you vacuum.

Q: What's the difference between men and E.T.?

A: E.T. phones home.

Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?

A: Gifted.

Q: What are the reasons men don't mind their own business?

A: No mind, no business.

Q: What is gross stupidity?

A: 144 men in one room.

Q: What do men think Rowe vs. Wade is?

A: Two ways to cross a river.

Q: How do men sort laundry?

A: Dirty, and dirty but wearable.

Q: How stupid are men about money?

A: Only a man would buy a $500 car and a $4,000 stereo.