In The News...

Java Joints: Archeologists in Israel have found the remains of a Byzantine shopping area on the site where a new mall will be constructed. "What's even more amazing is that the remains contain evidence of the world's first Starbucks." (Paul Steinberg)

Disappearing Act: "These seem to be pretty good times for Republican Newt Gingrich. His approval ratings are up, and he's lost 25 pounds. Which just goes to show you, the less Newt there is, the more people like it." (Jay Leno)

I Will Survive: Culture Club began its reunion tour last week. "Over the years, Boy George has survived albums that bombed, an addiction to drugs, and, worst of all, bad hair days." (Premiere Radio)

WWW Springer: The "Jerry Springer's Too Hot for TV" video is finally available at your local video store. "Store managers can't make up their minds where to display the tape: in the comedy section or next to pro wrestling tapes." (Ira Lawson)

Casting Call: "Remember those 18-year-olds who were supposed to lose their virginity on the Internet? The whole thing was a hoax. Turns out they were actors in their 20s hoping this would be their big break. How stupid is that? Actors don't get ahead in the business by sleeping with each other; you have to sleep with directors and producers! (Leno)