In The News...

What's in a Name? Anticipating that eventually it will be sold over the counter, Viagra's manufacturers are searching for a more marketable name. "It hasn't been easy since 'Stick-ups,' 'Big Mac,' and 'Magic Johnson' are already taken." (George Raymond)

Homework: A British tabloid has a video of Jerry Springer in bed with a porn actress and her stepmom. "Poor guy. Stuck taking his work home with him." (The Daily Scoop)

Night, Night: The Emmys will last four hours this year. "Not to be outdone, the Oscars will become a miniseries." (Zack Taylor)

Beat the Clock: OJ Simpson said he's been working out and is in really good shape. "He's determined to beat his old record of six minutes from the Bundy crime scene to Rockingham." (Argus Hamilton)

Hiya Pops: According to a new study, 20% of men do not know how to put on a condom. "You know what you call these men? Dad." (Jay Leno)

Not Camera Ready: Jerry Springer has obtained a restraining order against the tabloids showing stills from a clandestine tape of him with a porn star and her stepmother in a hotel room. "It can't be released until they add a staged fight." (Gary Easley)

Not Sleeping Around: "Health officials have issued a warning with Viagra. They say: "Women, if you sleep with a man who's on Viagra, you're not only sleeping with him, you're sleeping with every woman he didn't sleep with for the past eight years." (Jay Leno)