In The News...

From the Wall_Street_Journal, 12/24/97, about a publication that has tax-related quotations. Some of those cited:

Contrary to what some people claim, the tax laws have a lot of respect for logic. They use it so sparingly. -- Jeffery Yablon, lawyer at Shaw Pittman

When Congress talks about simplification, taxpayers should be reminded of Emerson's comments regarding an acquaintance: the louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons. -- Yale Law professor Michael Graetz

The first rule of practicing tax law: if someone has to go to jail, make sure it's the client. -- Fred Drasner, New York Daily News

A Modest Proposal: "Jerry Seinfeld is going to stop doing his show even though NBC offered to pay him $5 million an episode. "Meanwhile, I announced I'm staying at my show even though NBC is going to start charging me." (Conan O'Brien)

Clear Days In Saloons: California's ban on smoking in bars took effect on New Year's Day. "A man can no longer offer a woman a cigarette as an icebreaker, but the air will still be thick with the pickup line, 'What's your sign?'" (Gary Easley)

According to a new survey, the first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. -- Conan O'Brien

Sweet and Sour Elmo: "Producers of the new 'Sesame Street' in China says it's just like the American version, except it takes four episodes to finish the alphabet song." (Craig Kilborn, Comedy Central)

Box Office Bomb: "Good Will Hunting" is a movie about a young math genius who is frequently troubled with the law. "Or as I call it, 'Ted Kaczynski: The Early Years.'" (Ann Harrison)

Must Fee TV: NBC will pay $13 million per episode for "ER." "But NBC accountants have devised a way to recoup the money within six months. They're going to have the cast treat real patients." (Bob Mills)

Gospel of OJ: In an interview with ESPN, OJ Simpson compared himself to biblical figures Job and Jesus because they also experience persecution. "Yeah, but neither of them played golf or killed their ex-wives." (Olympia Daily World)