Plato, on The Espresso

This week: Our own distinguished professor Orif Barrubgtib has discovered one of the lost dialogs of Plato, related to The Crito and The Phaedo, which I feel is relevant to our Monday morning activity. For your edification, I shall reproduce a section below.

THE ESPRESSO by Plato

Lobotomos: Is it true, Socrates, that the decaffeinated life is not worth living?

Socrates: Not only is it true, Lobotomos, but upon careful reflection it is patent. For is not reason the foundation of virtue?

Lobotomos: Certainly, Socrates.

Socrates: And without virtue, there would be no reason.

Lobotomos: Of course, Socrates.

Socrates: And reason requires wakefulness.

Lobotomos: No one could possibly deny it, Socrates.

Socrates: And it is quite impossible to be truly awake on a Monday morning without caffeine.

Lobotomos: How truly you speak, Socrates.

Socrates: Thus virtue ergo reason needs wakefulness via caffeine. Q.E.D.

Lobotomos: I see now that must certainly be the case, Socrates.