In The News...

The Seinfeld finale, expected to air on May 21, is likely to produce a bonanza for NBC, which plans to sell spots on it for $1 million each, the New York Post reported Tuesday, citing speculation by industry analysts. The newspaper noted that while the figure would dwarf the $650,000 paid for a spot on the 1993 Cheers finale, it would not top the $1.3 million that advertisers are paying for spots on this month's Super Bowl game. NBC is also likely to pull in big bucks for ads on an accompanying one-hour "mocumentary" that Jerry Seinfeld has indicated will air on the night of the finale. BBD&O analyst Steve Grubbs noted that the broadcast falls on the eve of the Memorial Day weekend, making it likely that movie studios will scramble to buy time on the show.

Tastes Great, Less Driving: An Ohio judge ordered a habitual drunk- driving offender to move within walking distance of a liquor store. The judge said he couldn't think of any other way to keep the guy from driving drunk. "Hello? How about jail?" (Jay Leno)

Tastes Great, Less Drowning: Three men whose boat capsized in Florida were rescued after hanging onto their ice chest until help arrived. "Typical guys. The boat's going down in the middle of the ocean and they're thinking, 'Save the beer!'" (Leno)

Daddy's Girl: "Meanwhile, Woody Allen is thrilled to get his tax forms. He's got big savings coming. Because his wife is also his daughter, he gets two deductions." (Leno)

Self-Destructing Harry: "Woody has also begun his next autobiographical movie; it's called 'Father of the Bride.'" (Leno)

Canonized by the Media: Princess Di's family will charge people to visit Diana's grave, tour a Diana museum, then lunch at a restaurant converted stable. "It's right near the manger where she was born." (Argus Hamilton)