Vaseline

A telemarketer was taking a survey. He told the woman on the line,"I represent a number of vaseline companies and we're doing a survey of the many uses of vaseline in the home. Would you mind taking a few moments and telling me how you use our product ?"

She said, "We use it for cuts, dry skin, chapped lips and sex."

The marketer undaunted pushed on, "Uh, would you mind explaining how you use it for sex ?"

She sez, "Simple. I put it on the door-knob -- it keeps the kids out of the room."