Some Quotes

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work. Hello, can't work today. Still queer." -- Robin Tyler

My Aunt Lorraine said, "Bob, you're gay. Are you seeing a psychiatrist?" I said, "No. I'm seeing a lieutenant in the Navy." -- Bob Smith

I don't even consider myself bisexual. Frankly, I just think of myself as a "people person."

Labels can also be misleading. I saw a news report about a lesbian protest march, and the reporter said, "Coming up next, a lesbian demonstration." My first thought was, "Cool. I always wondered how those things work."

I know that some lesbians are getting pregnant by going to sperm banks. I couldn't do that. I'm exactly like my grandmother. "What? Everything's frozen?! Nothing's fresh?!" -- Michael Dane

I came out to a straight friend and told her that I'm a lesbian. The first thing she said to me was: "Really? Do you know Jill McGee? She's a lesbian in Philadelphia!" Pardon me for laughing, but straight people are so funny! They think we all know each other! Actually, I do know her. But, hey, it's just a coincidence! -- Karen Ripley

I do not care whether they allow gays in the military or not, because the whole idea of the military strikes me as completely absurd. I do not understand the desire to pick up a gun and go off and shoot strangers when there are so many loved ones I'd like to take a shot at first. I'd have to reload several times to get every one on my particular hit list of love. -- E.L. Greggory

Yes, I was a teenage lesbian. And while that may sound like a horror movie to some of you, for me I could subtitle that period of my life, "Adventures in Paradise," because there was one thing that we gay teenagers could do that our straight friends couldn't. I could say, "Hey, Mom, Michelle's comin' over to spend the night Friday night, OK?" "OK, Honey!" -- Marilyn Pittman

I do a lot of traveling as a comic. I've traveled through the Bible Belt. "Belt" is too narrow a word, I think. It should be "Bible cummerbund." Or maybe "Bible Body Cast."

Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. What must hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion? -- Sabrina Matthews