In the News...

Marion Barry, the mayor of Washington, DC, has put up $100,000 of his taxpayer's money so the city can compete to host the next summer Olympics. Apparently he hopes to enter himself in the crack and field events. -- Gekko, in National_Review, Dec. 8th, 1997

Barbie now is getting a bigger waist and a smaller chest... Not surprisingly, earlier today, Ken announced he wants to date other dolls. -- David Letterman

Accompanied by a flourish of trumpets, the Rev. Sun Myung Moon blessed a flower-scented sea of 28,000 couples. Says Bob Mills: "In a separate ceremony, he blessed Donald Trump's 5,000-page standard prenuptial agreement."

"Newsweek says it did not intend to mislead the public when it retouched the photograph of Iowa septuplet mom Bobbi McCaughey to whiten and straighten her teeth. But critics says these touch-ups could lead readers to conclude that McCaughey lives in California." (Johnny Robish)

"Let's go out and terrify some Baptists." -- Actress Emma Thompson, preparing to 'out' herself on ABC's "Ellen." The Baptist Church is boycotting Disney for televising "Ellen" as well as for Disney's domestic partner's policy.

HarperCollins has agreed to pay $500,000 for an X-Files book deal. The working title is "Conspiracy Theories for Dummies." (Jim Rosenberg)

"In a surprising move, the Golden State Warriors have granted Latrell Sprewell's wish and traded him--to the WWF. In return, the Warriors get Randy "Macho Man" Savage and a masked goon to be named later. Meanwhile, Sprewell has been instructed by the WWF to begin a steroid program and choreography classes immediately. (Ken Roberts, KVOA-TV)