In The News...

President Clinton on Sunday became the first U.S. president to address a gay rights group. Carried away by the moment, Clinton shouted to the roaring crowd: "Icht bein eine Lesbian!" In a related item, today is the 28th anniversary of Sesame Street. "Longtime Companions" Bert and Ernie celebrated quietly at home in the modest one bedroom apartment they share.

A teenager in Queens, New York, was shot after a federal agent mistook the Three Musketeers candy bar in his hand for a gun. So remember: guns don't kill people. Candy bars kill people.

Marv Albert is making the rounds on the talk shows in an effort to save his reputation. I think he ought to just call it what it is: "Pervapalooza '97."