The Top 15 Signs Your Execution Isn't Going Well

15> The poison gas is bad enough, but pumping laughing gas into the audience chamber is just plain cruel!

14> The anti-capital punishment demonstrators are carrying signs reading, "Okay, but just this once."

13> Wacky guards post sign outside your cell: "Elevation -6"

12> At the last minute, the governor calls, but only to ask if you have Prince Albert in a can.

11> They assure you "Old Sparky" isn't acting up, but still arrange burgers on your head.

10> Firing squad of Ted Nugent, Charlton Heston, and Barry Switzer replaced by Elmer Fudd, Wile E. Coyote, and Yosemite Sam.

9> That burning smell doesn't mean they ruined the Steak Tartare, Chester.

8> The electric chair operator asks you to turn over so they can do the other side.

7> Guitar-carrying executioner says not to worry, he'll be "killing you softly" with his song.

6> You wake to a muffled voice saying, "Let's get the dirt back in there and call it a day!"

5> Supreme Court Golf Tournament scheduled for day of your execution.

4> The jolt from the electric chair only manages to give you "Don King hair."

3> In the viewing room, Martha Stewart's gingerbread electric chair cookies are getting more attention than you are.

2> Despite what the paperwork says, there's apparently no such thing as "Lethal Erection."

and the Number 1 Sign Your Execution Isn't Going Well...

1> Your kicky new sundress? Ruined!