Personal Ads Explained

CINDERELLA SEEKS PRINCE CHARMING Mousy dishwasher seeks a man, any man.

CIVIL ENGINEER Plays with Meccano.

COLOUR IMMATERIAL Sexy black girl sought.

COLOUR AND APPEARANCE IMMATERIAL Sexy black girl with stupendous backside sought.

COMMITTED Possessive. Control Freak.

COMPANY DIRECTOR, JAGUAR, YACHT, PENTHOUSE, ETC. If normal, does not need to advertise. Expect: illegal perversions, 3ft 6ins tall, Nazi war criminal, etc.

COMPUTERS, INTERESTED IN People, NOT interested in.

COUNTRY COTTAGE Run-down hovel without main facilities, miles from anywhere. Wants cook and housekeeper, without having to pay for it.

CREATIVE Once went to pottery evening classes.

CUDDLY Man: bearded, drinks prodigious quantities of real ale. Woman: has six children - breast-feeds them in restaurants.